my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
