You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't deserve a penis
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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