Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
