Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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