I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
