Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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