hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
