No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
