nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
