i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
