How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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