We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
