the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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