I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
