do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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