I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
