he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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