Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
