Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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