i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
