Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Duck Duck Cougar?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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