Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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