IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
