She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
