i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
