Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We just shotgunned beers for America
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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