i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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