i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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