what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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