That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize