jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
