you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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