like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
