your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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