he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
