Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize