party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
