5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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