if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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