i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
