So drunk its hurt
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
