Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
