so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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