what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
