I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize