So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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