btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
