i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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