i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
