I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize