You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
