I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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