he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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