oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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