Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
