i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize