I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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