i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
foreskin is a definite game changer
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize