Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
