I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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